by Erika Matić – alive, optimised, financially unprepared for genetic enlightenment
I am currently reading a book about longevity and I’m nearly finished. Emotionally destabilised. Mildly convinced I might live forever if I behave correctly for the next 60–80 years.
The book is called Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia. Which is a bold title. Not “Live Well.” Not “Age Gracefully.” No. Outlive. As in: survive. Persist. Outlast your organs, your habits, and possibly your personality.
Naturally, I took this personally.
Before this book, I believed I was doing quite well in the department of Not Dying.
- I work out every day.
- I quit alcohol.
- I eat protein like it’s a contractual obligation.
- I reduced sugar to diplomatic visits only.
- I sleep. I hydrate. I walk. I stretch.
In short: I became the person who says “I feel amazing” and means it – which is suspicious behaviour and should be monitored.
And then Outlive gently slapped me with science.
Apparently, survival is not a vibe. It is a full-time administrative position.
The Family Medical Trailer (Rated: Concerning)
Halfway through the book, I remembered something deeply inconvenient: my genetics.
Let us review the family highlights:
- Breast cancer – several women, because overachieving runs in the family
- Diabetes – my father
- High blood pressure – also my father, multitasking king
- Bone issues – my mother
- Alzheimer’s – grandmother
- Strokes – grandfather
- Stomach cancer – other grandfather
At this point, my DNA feels less like inheritance and more like a dramatic prophecy. Some families pass down jewellery. Mine passed down medical suspense.
And suddenly the question appeared: Am I living healthy… or just delaying my inevitable family storyline?
Welcome to Preventative Hypochondria
Since starting this book, I no longer experience “sensations.” I experience potential indicators.
- Headache? Hydration… or neurological chapter one?
- Tired? Normal life… or mitochondrial betrayal?
- Forgot a word? Human… or cognitive decline trailer?
Before Outlive, I Googled: “Healthy lunch ideas.”
Now I Google: “Statistically probable diseases given my family tree and personality.”
This is called growth.
The Genetic Test Situation (Or: Luxury Anxiety)
Naturally, the next logical step is genetic testing.
Naturally, the price is approximately the same as a small vacation, a medium emotional crisis, or two months of groceries in adulthood.
So no – I have not done it yet. I will do it. As soon as my bank account stops acting like it has trust issues. Because here lies the dilemma my sister so innocently asked: “Is it better to know or not to know?”
A philosophical question. A dangerous question. A question that ruins peaceful evenings.
- Option A: Don’t know. Live calmly. Die surprised.
- Option B: Know everything. Live cautiously. Die organised and well-informed.
Peace vs. Control. Ignorance vs. Preparation. Denial vs. Spreadsheets.
After deep reflection (and three separate imaginary future diagnoses), I concluded: I absolutely want to know.
Not because I enjoy fear. Because I enjoy strategy. If life plans to throw something at me, I prefer to see it coming – hydrated, strong, and slightly dramatic, but ready.
Control: Humanity’s Favourite Fantasy
Let us be honest. Longevity is partly science, partly discipline, and partly the comforting illusion that we are in charge.
You can:
- Eat perfectly
- Train daily
- Sleep 8 hours
- Stabilise glucose
- Optimise hormones
- Stretch your hips until they forgive you
And life can still say: “Interesting. Here is unpredictability.”
But discipline does something powerful:
- It doesn’t promise immortality.
- It improves probability.
- It delays chaos.
- It strengthens your position in the negotiation with biology.
Longevity is not about never dying. It is about arriving late – strong, mobile, aware, and still judging people who say “I don’t like water.”
When Health Quietly Becomes Your Personality
Somewhere between protein intake calculations and sleep tracking, something happened. Health became… my character trait.
I now own:
- Supplements for organs I cannot emotionally locate
- A resting heart rate I check like breaking news
- Muscle definition I didn’t order but now maintain
- Sleep data that knows when I emotionally processed childhood
At this point, I am 30% woman, 70% preventative maintenance.
- Fun? Occasionally.
- Effective? Probably.
- Slightly unhinged? Absolutely.
But here is the uncomfortable truth: I feel better than ever. And once you feel strong, energetic, and clear – you become deeply unwilling to return to “functioning but tired.”
The Real Fear Isn’t Death
Let’s say it honestly. We don’t fear dying. We fear declining.
- Losing memory.
- Losing strength.
- Losing independence.
- Becoming fragile in a body that once felt powerful.
Longevity is not about escaping death. It is about protecting dignity. And suddenly, the motivation becomes emotional – not medical.
Can You Outsmart Your Genetics?
Science says: genetics load the gun, lifestyle negotiates with the trigger. Which is both comforting and deeply stressful. You may carry risk – but risk is not destiny.
- Every workout is a small rebellion.
- Every healthy meal is a negotiation.
- Every night of sleep is biological diplomacy.
You are not rewriting DNA. You are persuading it to behave.
The Hidden Side Effect of Wanting to Live Long
Here is the irony nobody warns you about: When you start caring about longevity, you start caring about life more.
Your energy matters.
Your peace matters.
Your time matters.
You stop wasting yourself.
Because what is the point of living long if you live distracted, exhausted, numb, and running on caffeine and unresolved emails?
Longevity quietly demands quality. More years only matter if there is more life inside them.
A Slightly Expensive, Moderately Optimised Ending
So yes – I will do the genetic tests. Eventually. When financially responsible adulthood aligns with existential curiosity.
I want information.
I want preparation.
I want the option to act early instead of react late.
Not because I think I control everything. But because I respect this one life enough to participate in its maintenance.
Will I still indulge sometimes? Yes.
Will I still eat cake occasionally and pretend balance exists? Also yes.
Will I still Google symptoms at night like a medically literate detective? Obviously. Growth is not linear.
But something has shifted. I no longer want to just exist. I want to reach old age strong, sharp, mobile, and still mildly sarcastic.
Not immortal. Just… difficult to eliminate.
And if my genetics disagree?
They should have chosen a less stubborn host.
Erika Matić writes about health, mortality, discipline, and the emotional chaos of trying to live longer without becoming unbearable at dinner conversations. She believes longevity is not about fearing death, but about respecting life – and that somewhere between optimisation and cake lies the real formula for survival.
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