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Why Is Everyone So Weird on Holidays? (Asking for Myself)
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Ah yes, Easter. That cheerful time of year when the birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and you’re secretly googling, “How long can you be around your family before you…
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I Hate My Thighs but I Love Myself (Kinda. It’s Complicated.)
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Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I truly love who I am?” If so, congratulations — you’ve just leveled up to The Midlife Meltdown Stage. Prize: A deep sense of…
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Earth Is Dying, But At Least My Straw Is Metal
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Written By Someone Who Definitely Remembers to Bring Their Reusable Bags (Like, 40% of the Time) Climate change. Mass extinction. Plastic oceans. Melting glaciers. Screaming scientists. Existential dread. Just your…
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If My Tattoos Offend You, Wait Till You Hear My Opinions
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Ah yes, nothing screams “existential threat to society” quite like a woman with visible tattoos and the audacity to smile in public. Gather round, friends, because it’s time we finally…
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Sorry for Being Alive Wrong
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Lately, I’ve developed a charming little eye twitch every time someone offers a helpful comment about my body, my life choices, or the number of children I should be squeezing…
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Dear 22-Year-Old Me: Dump Him and Keep the Money
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An open letter to the broke, exhausted, academically ambitious fool financing a man-child. Dear 22-year-old Erika, First of all, congratulations. You’ve hit rock bottom, and for a moment there, you…
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A Family Meal, Sponsored by Resentment and Rakija
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Ah yes, nothing screams “family bonding” like a good old-fashioned Cold War reenactment between your parents, performed live in your dining room, in front of your wide-eyed toddlers who were…
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Live, Laugh, Rent: Why Our Kids Will Never Own a Home (Or Hope)
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Ah, the good old days! Back when a single salary could buy a house, raise a family, and still leave enough for an annual beach holiday—without a single spreadsheet to…
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281,774 Fans, One Horse Field: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
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Let’s set the scene: It’s July 5, 2025. The sun is setting over Zagreb’s Hipodrom, casting an eerie orange glow over a sea of red-and-white checkered shirts. Thousands—nay, hundreds of…
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Bass Drops & Tantrums: Parents Gone Wild
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They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I say absence makes the toddler grow angrier. We recently did something radical, something daring, something that might get us removed from…