Oh, how motherhood changed me.
It changed the way I move through my days,
the way I see myself in the mirror,
the way I understand the world.
It changed the way I love.
It changed everything – all at once.
The road was bumpy,
long in the hardest moments,
yet now, when I look back, it passed too soon.
And that makes me both happy and sad –
at the same time.
I’m happy because my baby is growing,
becoming kind, radiant, full of love.
But I’m sad because I will never
breastfeed again,
watch her take a first step again,
hold her as a newborn in the quiet hours.
Some days, I forget how much I miss
the moments that were only ours.
But life moves forward, whether we ask it to or not.
So instead of mourning what is gone,
I embrace what is here.
Now, I have a toddler –
curious, joyful, everything I dreamed of.
And that is enough.
Enough to carry me through a lifetime of joy,
through all the new firsts,
through all the lasts.
The changes that shaped me
are now permanent,
and that is what this journey truly is –
the hardest,
the most beautiful,
all at once.
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