Being a self-employed mother in Croatia is a real challenge. But being a self-employed mother without access to kindergarten? That’s a whole different level of difficulty. It’s a life filled with constant trade-offs – earning less, sacrificing free time, and living with the nagging fear that you’re not doing enough, either as a parent or a professional. The list of worries never seems to end.
We’re fortunate to have grandparents who help out in the mornings, allowing me to get some work done. But even with their support, the situation is far from ideal. My days revolve around managing my child’s needs, squeezing in work whenever possible, and battling guilt no matter what I’m doing. If I focus too much on work, I feel like I’m failing as a mother. If I spend too much time with my child, I worry I’m falling behind professionally. It’s a never-ending cycle.
The Pressure to Earn vs. The Value of Time
In a world that values productivity and financial success, the pressure to earn is enormous. And yet, time is the one resource we can never get back. As my child grows, I realize how fleeting these moments are. The first steps, the innocent questions, the laughter – they happen once, and if I miss them, I don’t get a second chance. But at the same time, bills don’t pay themselves. The reality is that financial security is necessary for a stable and stress-free life.
Many parents, not just in Croatia but worldwide, struggle with this dilemma. Is it better to work more and provide financial security, or should we prioritize time with our children, even if that means earning less? The ideal answer is balance, but achieving that balance is far easier said than done.
Society often measures success in terms of financial gain. We are praised for working long hours, for building businesses, for earning well. Rarely do we hear someone say, “You are successful because you spent quality time with your child today.” There’s an inherent imbalance in the way we define achievement.
The Burden of Societal Expectations
There’s also the cultural expectation that mothers should be fully available to their children while also contributing financially. This double standard places an overwhelming burden on women, especially those who are self-employed. Unlike traditional employees, there is no paid maternity leave, no guaranteed hours, and no predictable paycheck. Every month brings uncertainty.
Sometimes, I wonder if our societal values are misplaced. We work long hours to afford luxuries, vacations, and future stability, yet in doing so, we sacrifice the very moments we claim to be working for. What is the point of financial success if it costs us the relationships that matter the most?
On the other hand, financial struggles can bring their own kind of stress. When money is tight, life becomes a constant battle. The anxiety of not being able to afford basic necessities can overshadow any joy that free time might bring. Without financial stability, free time isn’t necessarily enjoyable – it’s filled with worry.
So, what is the right choice? There is no universal answer. Every family’s situation is different, and priorities shift depending on individual circumstances. But one thing is clear: the conversation needs to change. We need to start valuing time as much as we value money.
Rethinking Work and Family Policies
Workplaces and governments should recognize the importance of family time and support flexible work arrangements, affordable childcare, and better conditions for self-employed parents. If society truly values children and families, it must also value the time parents spend raising them
Personally, I try to remind myself that I am doing my best. Some days, I feel like I am succeeding. Other days, I feel like I am barely keeping things together. But I’ve come to accept that perfection is unattainable. What matters is being present when it counts – whether that’s for a client meeting or my child’s bedtime story.
In the end, the goal isn’t to choose between money or free time but to create a life where both coexist in a way that aligns with our values. Maybe that means redefining success, working smarter rather than harder, or simply accepting that there will always be trade-offs.
For now, I will continue navigating this path, making choices that prioritize both financial stability and the precious, fleeting moments of motherhood. Because in the grand scheme of things, it is not just about making a living – it is about making a life.
If you’re experiencing the same dilemma, how do you cope? What’s your answer? Share your stories below – I’d love to hear them.
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